Day 7-Doing what I love and loving the money I make!
Some very interesting insights are unfolding for me in regards to this little experiment. The big aha for me right now is that I’ve always separated money and love. I thought that love is something very good to be, do and have. But money was a necessity that was wrong to love. Don’t get me wrong. I have always loved having money and the freedom that comes with it. I love having money, spending money and enjoying what money brings into my life. But I have never been able to really know how to love money. I mean it feels so shallow and materialistic. Loving money feels like what misers do. It feels sinful and wrong. It feels like if I loved money that I would be selfish, greedy, and unhappy. Remember the phrase, “Money can’t buy you love?”
There are so many emotions and beliefs that are attached with money. Even watching the word pop up on my computer screen is charged with energy. Look at the word “Charge” cards. Or on our coins, “In God we Trust.” Tithing or giving away money is suppose to bring you more money. Does anyone every have more than enough money? Does money really run out? Is there truly a way for an unending supply of money to come into our lives? Why do we feel so bad when we have to pay income taxes? Why do bills always seem like such a burden to pay? Didn’t we get the benefits of the goods and services that were provided?
So the real question is what feelings, thoughts or the energy do I need to have towards money that will give me a healthy, prosperous, and abundant experience with it?
If I feel guilty, afraid, unworthy with anyone in my life, I don’t feel like being around them. I don’t want to spend time with them, And I certainly don’t go out of my way to befriend them. If I use something in my life as a means to an end ie. a computer, or an oven, or a car to provide me with a service or function, I expect the pan, the computer, the oven, or the car to provide me with the service that they were designed to do. I don’t go to the cupboard to use the pan to cook and expect that it won’t be there, or that my car won’t start, or my computer won’t work. But if any of these things don’t work right, yes I do get upset and emotionally whacked. The truth is that 99% of the time they all provide me with the service that I need.
But money? Sometimes it’s there, sometimes, it’s not, and sometimes I have to wait for it. I feel that my expectations of money are not met 99%. Now that I’ve just written that sentence I see that it is a lie. The money has always been there. The charged emotions of fear have covered up the truth. So if I can erase the fear and learn to trust that I am always loved and protected, how will that change my outcomes?
I’m fortunate to have had many dreams in my life. And to have the opportunities to work at making them come true. The money was always there to fulfill those dreams. I didn’t feel that it was readily available or easy to attain but somehow I always found a way. I would like now to find that way without the fear or the emotional pain that comes with it.
I would love to be able to trust and experience that my work has great value and will make the world a more beautiful place. That is the miracle I desire. What do I change in me so that I can do this? What do I need to do so that I can experience what this would feel like?
What will my new self look like?
I will look forward to what I’m told to do.