Secrets
Sshhhh! I’ve got a “secret” and I don’t want anyone to know. Why would you want to keep a secret? Why do we think that “secret’s” are sacred? Is there power in keeping a “secret”? Everyone has secrets. Some are big and some are small but we all have them. Some are isolate you from your family and friends. Some secrets bring people closer together. if they reveal others “secrets”. Some people suffer silently inside with their secrets not being able to face the shame, the betrayal, or the pain that revealing their “secret” might bring them. I lived with a secret for a very long time. I was too afraid to talk about it. My safety and security were at risk. It became easier to pretend that if I shared the secret with anyone, 1. they wouldn’t understand 2. I would be punished for telling 3. people would be hurt and it would be my fault. In my thinking all of these scenarios were true. So I lived with my secret for many years. Only recently have I shared this secret with my therapist and a couple of close friends. I don’t know if I feel better or not for the sharing. I don’t know what keeping a secret really does for anyone. Is the truth better to tell even though it will hurt someone? Did I hurt myself by keeping this secret for so many years? I didn’t feel a great sense of relief when I shared my secret. In fact any time I would tell someone there was a feeling of shame, and helplessness associated with the story. Why couldn’t I do something about the secret? Why did I feel the burden and the responsiblity of keeping the secret. Why did everyone want to keep the problem hidden? Secrets have a power and life of their own. They weave stories that can keep you in a place of feeling powerless and alone. Sharing a secret gives you a connection to something greater than yourself. There can even be a sacred secret that if it’s exposed will take away power from those who are trying to hide the information contained in the secret. Secret’s are mysterious. Mystery also has power. If you can’t understand something that secret can control you. Now that I’ve had time the examine all the secret’s that I’ve kept and all the ones I’ve share, I think that anyone who has a secret wants to control a person, a situation or an experience. If you have a secret that is controlling you…what you think, how you feel, or what you want for your life…….that secret has taken control from you. It’s taken your freedom and your power. What do you do? Understand that only you can decide how much power the secret has over your life………sometimes containing that power allows you to move forward with greater velocity, often times if the secret is harmful to you or someone else, it will take your power away. The one thing I know for sure, is that if a secret is burdening your heart………share it with someone you respect and who you trust. Secrets that are meant to be kept are few and far between. Betraying a confiedence is different than telling a secret that needs to be exposed so that everyone can lead a healthier, happier life. If you don’t face the problems that the secret is creating you will never be able to be free of the hurt, guilt, shame, or confusion that the secret has caused. Sharing secrets can be the healthiest way to overcome difficulties and challenges. Be wise who you share the secret with……not everyone has your best interest at heart.